


Up a Tree

by killerweasel



Category: Good Omens (TV Series)
Genre: Drunken Shenanigans, F/M, Humor, Ineffable Bureaucracy (Good Omens), M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:14:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26550481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killerweasel/pseuds/killerweasel
Summary: Shenanigans and drunken stupidity.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36





	Up a Tree

Title: Up a Tree  
Fandom: Good Omens (TV Series)  
Characters: Crowley, Aziraphale, Beelzebub, Gabriel  
Pairings: Aziraphale/Crowley, Beelzebub/Gabriel  
Word Count: 769  
Rating: G  
A/N: After Episode 6  
Summary: Shenanigans and drunken stupidity.

"That meal was positively scrumptious, my dear. I'm glad you suggested we try the new restaurant. While the chef is young, I think she's got the makings of something truly... " Aziraphale trails off as he looks out of the car window. "Why is Mrs. Mahoney screaming at a tree?"

"Maybe her cat is up there again?"

"Something appears to have happened to her flowerbed." His eyes widen. "Can you feel that?"

"Beelzebub is nearby." Crowley parks the car in front of Mrs. Mahoney's house and pinches the bridge of his nose. "She feels a bit off. Wait. What's the date?"

"Fifteenth of June." Aziraphale squints at the tree. "I think Gabriel is in there. Why would he be in a tree?"

"This is Dagon's fault. Sortof. It's her 'Spring Bash'." He gets out of the car with a sigh. "I stopped going to them after I found myself naked in the middle of Berlin with a lampshade on my head. Someone had drawn a giant dick on my chest with marker."

"So what you're saying is..."

"They're probably four steps beyond drunk. Going to guess they wanted to come to our place as a surprise and came up in the wrong yard." Wincing at the sight of the ruined flowers, Crowley snaps his fingers, putting it back to its original glory. "I'll deal with Beelzebub, you go get that moron out of the tree before he hurts himself. Probably have to make Mrs. Mahoney forget about the whole thing too."

Crowley finds Beelzebub curled up in a ball under a rosebush. There's dirt in her hair and he has no idea where her missing clothing is. With a sigh, he reaches out and gently pokes her in the shoulder with a finger. "Beelzebub. You're going to need to find a better place to sleep this off."

"Crowley?" One eye opens and eventually focuses on Crowley's face. "Ugh, my fucking head. There was a very angry old woman. She hit me with her purzzze. I think it wazzz full of bricks."

"You were off by a bit. We're three doors down from here." He grins. "Do you want me to miracle you to our guest room or do you think you can manage on your own?"

"Fuck knowzzz where I'll end up if I try it." She hiccups. "Dagon came up with a new drink. One makes you forget your troublezzz. Five makes you forget everything. And zzzeven makes you drag an Archangel to the surface through a flowerbed. Where is that idiot?"

"Up a tree. Aziraphale is trying to get him down. I'll send you to our place and give him a hand. He looks like he needs it. Gabriel is now hanging upside down and I swear I can hear him singing something from 'The Sound of Music'." A snap of his fingers miracles Beelzebub away.

"Come out of that tree at once, Gabriel. Don't force me to waste a miracle!" Aziraphale crosses his arms over his chest. "I think he's stuck. He just keeps singing the same line over and over again."

"Where's Mrs. Mahoney?"

"I encouraged her forget this mess and go inside to have some tea."

"Gabriel!" Several small branches fall from the tree as the Archangel shifts to look at Crowley. "Beelzebub is waiting for you at the cottage, but you need to come down first. Can you do it without landing on your head?"

"My mouth tastes like something died in it. Why are there three of both of you? And why are you upside down?" Gabriel tried to sit up, loses his balance, and falls backward off the branch. Instead of crashing to the ground, an angelic miracle catches him before setting him onto the grass. "Oh. Thanks."

Crowley arches a brow. "You seem to be missing most of your clothing and I pretty sure those aren't your boxers." The boxers in question are an odd shade of green and covered in chameleons.

"I think these are Hastur's." Gabriel manages to get to his feet, but keeps swaying from side to side. "There was naked Twister and then things got really weird. Next thing I knew, I was in a tree."

Aziraphale exchanges a look with Crowley and then smiles. "I think you could use a bit of a rest. Come on, I'll take you to the cottage."

"That's nice of you, Aziraphale." Gabriel is about to say something else when his face suddenly matches his boxers. "Hold that thought." He leans behind the tree and gets sick.

"At least he didn't do it in the guest room, my dear?"

"True."


End file.
